A Terrible Idea

The application window for A Terrible Grant closes in less than a week. if you’ve been putting off filling out your application, you’re almost out of time. Applications are being accepted Until June 1, 12:01 AM PST. Your application must be by then if you want to be considered for a copy of Adobe Creative Suite 5 Design Premium.

Please read the application details in the original post and comments as well as the update post and follow all instructions.

It’s a holiday weekend coming up, and a popular gaming one at that. Don’t put it off until the last minute. Send in your application today.

Author Note: I’ve been trapped under something heavy for the past month. More regular updates should come starting next week.

So I had this Terrible Idea to give someone a Terrible Grant.

What is this Terrible Grant? This Terrible Grant takes the form of one genuine, fully legal and legit copy of Adobe Creative Suite 5 Design Premium. It includes the latest versions of Photoshop, Illustrator and InDesign – everything you need/want but can’t afford. There’s other stuff in there too, some of which you might find really useful.

Where did you get THAT? This isn’t a trick. It’s a legit thing. It didn’t fall off the back of a truck or something like that. But I can’t and won’t tell you how I got it (for a lot of reasons).

Who is can apply for this grant? I’m looking for an indie pen and paper RPG developer – if you aren’t one, or aren’t trying to become one, then your application will be ignored. Someone who needs this grant to bring their newest game, and many subsequent projects, to fruition. I’m looking for someone who can’t afford to buy this on their own, doesn’t want to pirate the software, and who feels like they are being held back by not having the right tools.

How can I apply for this Terrible Grant? In 500 words or less, convince me you’re the one person who needs this the most. In another 500 words, tell me a story that takes place in the world defined by your game. Then send me any links to what you’re working on, or describe the project in 500 words or less. both of those things. I will pick a couple people to help me review applications. To sum up: 500 words telling me why you’re the one, 500 words short fiction from inside the game, 500 words about the game itself.

Do I need to retweet or blog about the post or anything? That won’t help you at all. But feel free to do so if you think you have readers or followers who could genuinely benefit from this Terrible Grant.

When do I need to apply? I’m not sure when I will have the copy in hand, but it should be by June 1, so “Until June 1, 12:01 AM PST”.

How many Terrible Grants will be awarded? Exactly one.

Is the CS5 version for MAC or PC? I will be able to handle either. If it’s PC, there may be a delay.

If you have questions, ask me privately or leave a comment, I will respond/update as I am able.

Right, so, last week, I posted about how I did a bunch of stuff that wasn’t on the #spuc list.

I did it again.

Not only did I take on new projects, I put up an album for sale. So the list is going to get all wonky for a bit.

However, the new work was from my Will Work Or Design Game For Food post, so that’s a Good Thing.

I also finished something. GO ME!

On The Table:

1. RPBGN – I’ve shut down new applications until I can get some infrastructure updates in place. Some of them are a direct result of the survey that I ran last week.
2. Codename: One Hour Night – I’ve been contracted to develop a custom board game. It’s an exciting project that I can talk about more in six weeks or so.
3. Codename: Lunar Kitsch Missile – I’m very excited to be working with
   David A Hill Jr, Ryan Macklin and Will Robot on this project. There will be a more formal announcement as things take shape.
4. Shambles Source Material #1 – I got a few more pieces done on this, but not as much as I wanted.
5. Codename: Insignificant Diversionary Anaconda – I received an unexpected bit of art update in the mail for this earlier in the week. I have a question out to them to see if the things I thought needed to be done still need to be done, but I haven’t heard back.
6. Codename: Pandoran Apothecary Chest – Unchanged
7. Codename: Gremlin Persistent Malice – Unchanged
8. Codename: Simulated Jocular Anaconda – Unchanged
9. Codename: First Rural Delusions – Unchanged.

In The Closet

1. Mobile Audio Rig v2.0 details here- Mothballed 2/24/10
2. Unfinished – (NaNoWriMo 2009 Entry) – Mothballed – 01/28/09
3. Codename: Enormous Intersected Automaton – Mothballed 11/04/09
4. Codename: Big Audio Dynamite – Mothballed 11/04/09
5. Codename: Unwashed Repeat Pedestrian – Mothballed – 11/04/09
6. Codename: Cackle Smash Soup – Mothballed 10/28/09
7. Codename: Tactical Plastic Laser – Mothballed 10/28/09

In The Trophy Case

1. NEW – Maschine Zeit Material – I did some work for the upcoming game Maschine Zeit (mostly some fiction stuff to flesh out part of the setting). I knocked this out over the last week, and it’s in the can! I’ll share details when it’s made available.
2. A Single Moment Of Weakness – A piece of Flash Fiction I wrote for a little roundup. Read it here
3. Shambles – My RPG about life as a Zombie. First revision. (read about it here) – Completed on 2/17/10
4. Obnoxious Howler Monkey – An Arduino driven, VMUSIC2 bases soundboard designed for use as a mood-setter for tabletop games. (read about it here) First Revision. – Completed on 11/18/10
5. The Grognards Of Gygax – My entry into the “Best Quest” contest for Legends of Zork. It won Second Place – Completed on 11/11/10

Excuse Of The Week: Still not getting the things done I NEED to be getting done.

Every now and then, there comes a need to raise some extra funds on the quick. Maybe your car blew up. Maybe you need to make an unexpected flight back home. Maybe you’re trying to bail someone out of the drunk tank after they threw up while trying to give a lap dance to a traffic cop who was really just doing his job.

Yeah. I’m there.

It’s nothing quite so exciting in this case. I’ve just been whacked with a poorly timed bill for several hundred dollars that I wasn’t expecting, and cannot shift. You might have noticed my getting a little creative lately in terms of hocking my wares and that’s all coming from this.

So this is me, putting out the call for work. If you need a little writing done, I’d love to do it. If you need a LOT of writing done, I’ve love to do that too. I’m open to creative suggestions. Feel like getting a few people together and sponsoring a Creative Commons game? I’d love to do that too. Ever wondered what it would be like to play an RPG that used cheese instead of dice? I’m your man. Want someone to write an RPG based around that sci fi show you love that never got enough respect? Hit me, I’m open. I can even give you a flat fee for “Write up the weirdest RPG Idea you’ve ever had.”

If you’re interested, or leave a comment below.

Over at Robertson Games they ran a little contest where they asked people to design a room for a dungeon that fit on a single page. They’ve announced the winners and you should really check it out. I tossed in an entry of my own. It didn’t win, but it was fun to write. Plus all the entries have been made available under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.5 Canada License. Below is my entry:

Room Name : As Through Fetal Hell

Description : This room is round, 50′ in diameter with a single door leading into the room. Spaced evenly along the interior walls of the room are thousands of small holes, too small for a human finger but large enough for a dart, flechette or crossbow bolt. The roof disappears into the darkness some 100′ up, but if illuminated the ceiling hangs with large, sharp stalactites, some of which look quite precarious.

The room is floored in cobblestone, some of which are subtly different colors than the rest. The cobblestones are laid out in an uneven mosaic that with lines that, on closer inspection, occasionally converge into pentacles. The gaps between the cobblestones are inconsistent. Some of them have no mortar between them, while others appear to be more recently mortared into place. Along the outer edge of the room, right up against the wall, is a six inch gutter that appears to have been carved out of the native stone. It is in one solid piece, and drains into five small drains spaced equidistantly around the outer edge of the room.

In the center of the room is raised, star-shaped dais. In the middle of the dais is a large stone statue depicting a creature of indescribable horror. It does not correspond to any monster they have encountered, or any monster in any book the players might have read. The statue is rendered in perfect detail, as if someone summoned a monster into this room and turned it into stone. It appears to consist entirely of eyes, teeth, claws and muscle, and in several of its many mouths and claws one can see the unmistakable bits of several adventurers (also rendered in stone) who were in the process of being torn apart and devoured. The statue itself exudes evil magic at am extremely high level. If at any point no one in the party are observing the statue, the room fills with the sound of stone grating against stone. This sound stops when anyone is observing the statue.

Underneath the center of the statue is the unmistakable glimmer of treasure, though it’s hard to tell what it is. The treasure itself is giving off good magic at a reasonable level The bottom of the statue is covered in sharp teeth, and two of the many arms of the statue appear to be in the process of reaching under the statue. On close inspection (someone will have to get under the statue to see for themselves), the item appears to be an amulet of some kind. In order to dislodge it, the adventurer must reach well into the toothy mouth from which it hangs and dislodge it. The amulet will give the wearer a +2 rating in whatever stat would used to determine their Courage.

Notes : There is only one trap in the room, it is magical in nature and is tied to the statue. If the adventurers attack the statue, the stalactites will fall from the ceiling on everything but the statue. The statue is a work of art. It is also the focal point of a scrying spell cast by the owner, who thinks it’s both beautiful and funny to watch people tiptoe around the room in fear. The grating of stone on stone is another spell from the owner, an intentional trick to make people think it’s moving. The amulet is a genuine reward to anyone who has the balls to just go for it. This room is probably only going to work on new players. It would probably work best if it was in a dungeon where every other room was filled with death-dealing traps and hazards. I’ve written the description to be generic, so that it could be used in any system. The name is an anagram for “The Halls Of Laughter.”

This work is licensed to the public under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.5 Canada License. To view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5/ca/