(reprint from 09.10.2004)

I went to a gamer geek con last weekend, and played in a couple new things. One was Traveller, which was cool. One was (I swore I would never do this) a d20 D&D Game.

Now. I know I have been fairly outspoken against d20, and D&D in general. But one of the guys from the Traveller game was running a pickup game, and he was pretty darn cool, so I decided to jump in.

I wound up sitting with him, a 14 yr old guy who had been playing it for 5 years and knew the rules backwards and forwards, a gal I think was his sister who played but not as much, and another gal who played a bit. The guy was kinda the typical Timmy Power Gamer type I really hate sitting down at the table with. But, he became a source of entertainment.

For starters, I asked for something simple. A big guy with an Axe. Don’t care about the other stuff, just gimmie something to swing. And an Ogre Slaying Knife that’s +9 against Ogres.

That accomplished, I took a look around the table, and decided that what this game needed, was to be crashed. What this means, in my own terms, is that when sitting down with serious players (like my friend the 14 yr old thievy type next to me), the only right and proper thing to do is to attempt to set them on their ears. It may not be a popular, point of view, but it’s mine.

So it was, that Shirley, the Transvestitie Ogre Slayer was born.

Not that the game ended up needing much adjustment. It was funny enough watching twink-boy do thinks like nearly kill a ballerina, poison himself, and say things like “Oh this will be a cinch” before rolling horrendously bad on a check. Which was funny because Shirley was trying to tell him to duck. Because she was chucking a spear at the guy behind him. Which would have hit except that he failed hearing me, and dodging the spear.

All in all, much fun was had, and Shirley could well be the only character at the con who got the proverbial One Wish From God, and redeemed it on a better dress.

The lesson here is: When you don’t know what else to do, put on a dress.